Proverbs 11:12-13  (from Matthew Henry's Commentary)

Common truths

Silence is here recommended as an instance of true friendship, and a preservative of it, and therefore an evidence,

Of wisdom: A man of understanding, that has rule over his own spirit, if he be provoked, holds his peace, that he may neither give vent to his passion nor kindle the passion of others by any opprobrious language or peevish reflections.

Of sincerity: He that is of a faithful spirit, that is true, not only to his own promise, but to the interest of his friend, conceals every matter which, if divulged, may turn to the prejudice of his neighbour.

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Setting Fires with our Tongues

Learning to control our mouths for the glory of God

The words we speak not only have meaning, but have a lasting effect, good or bad. Though we should understand this, we don’t pay it enough attention. Perhaps that’s due to neglect or, worse, willful ignorance. Our speech matters greatly.

Scripture doesn’t mince words when speaking about the power of the tongue. Proverbs is full of language about the impact our tongue—our words—have on other people, including ourselves. But I want to turn your attention to James 3, which deals directly with how easy it is for our tongues to set fires.

“So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness,” James 3:5-6 reads. “The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.”

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire. Indeed. We need not underestimate the power of our tongues. Our words spring forth from our tongue and carry tremendous weight, which is all the more reason to be on guard against our speech. But how?

Slow to Speak

One of the best ways of controlling our speech is ensuring we don’t speak as much as our flesh would like to. “Know this,” James 1:9 reads, “my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

Many people, including myself, give their opinion on a situation or topic too quickly. I do believe I’m better at that now than I was years ago—thank you, Jesus—but I still struggle with that. We don’t yield to the Spirit in any given situation, but rather spout off the first thing that comes to mind. And usually it’s neither beneficial nor productive. The exhortation to be slow to speak is not simply for our benefit and sanctification but for others as well.

Being slow to speak is a mark of sanctification in the believer’s life. Christians should be people who are slow to speak, who are quick to listen, as the Bible says. We don’t need to always get the last word, either.

Be Quick to Encourage

This next one falls in line with a recent blog of mine on looking for the best. Make sure that when you talk, you do so to encourage, to edify, to strengthen. This doesn’t mean you can’t ever criticize. It doesn’t mean there won’t be moments when you have to be blunt, straightforward, no nonsense. But it simply means, in the course of everyday conversation, be more intentional about encouraging others, not tearing them down.

Think for a moment. Do you have people in your life that, when you’re around them, they are always negative about something? They’re like the character from SNL, Debbie Downer. Whether it’s just bringing bad news or being negative about life, or worse, they constantly are talking bad about other people. We can’t be that way, friends. And if we’re around people like that, perhaps we should find a new group of friends, or at the very least talk with that person about being so negative and critical.

Christians ought to be the most uplifting people to be around. Others shouldn’t have to worry about Christians being overly critical or gratuitously offensive. Of course, that’s going to happen because we deal with our sin everyday. But more often than not, Christians should be a joy to be around! Be an encourager, friend — that’s one way to tame the fire-breathing dragon that is your tongue.

Speech Seasoned with Salt

There’s never a reason to speak harshly to anyone. Our speech, per Colossians 4:6, needs to be “seasoned with salt.” What does that mean? “By salt he means wisdom,” John Calvin wrote, “without which speech is not only flat, but offensive; and by grace he means kindness, without which wisdom itself becomes bitter.”

Having our speech seasoned with salt simply means we speak with grace, kindness and, most importantly, wisdom. Using our God-given wisdom is paramount as we fight against using our words in sinful ways.

Let’s go back briefly to being harsh and, well, just plain mean. There are countless professing Christians on social media that routinely use inflammatory language on purpose, for shock value. May that not be! Our language and character online matters just as much in the eyes of God than in-person.

Friends, as we go about our Fridays and live to the glory of God, let’s pray for God to help us bridle our tongues and be gracious when we speak. Fires should be extinguished, not set, with our tongues.

https://blakealong.substack.com/p/setting-fires-with-our-tongues